It is the year of our lord two thousand fourteen and apparently nobody understands how suspension bridges work.
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| Godzilla wreaking havoc all over some bridges, because fuck bridges. |
So here we have Godzilla, MIGHTY LIZARD MONSTER FROM JAPAN, on a veritable rampage on the west coast of the US (as he is wont to do). In this picture we can see him destroying the suspension cables of the Golden Gate Bridge, which will now surely collapse into the San Francisco Bay. NOPE. Physics doesn't work like that in Godzilla-land (which actually sounds like a pretty fun place to visit). Evidently those cables were just for decoration because that bridge barely even budged. In fact, cars were still driving over it and people were still firing tanks off of it instead of... you know... CRASHING INTO THE OCEAN. This made me really angry because it was not explained to me earlier that this movie takes place in a Universe that fails to observe the force of gravity.
Yucca Mountain is not where we store radioactive waste.
I don't know when this script was written, but funding for Yucca Mountain being developed as a nuclear waste repository ended in 2011. You know where we actually store nuclear waste? In the basement of every nuclear power plant because we are a society of short-sighted idiots who have no clear plan of what to do with our spent nuclear fuel. All we know is that people in Nevada will throw a tantrum if you suggest putting spent fuel in the unpopulated desert under a mountain. "We don't wike dis. We don't wike putting nucweaw waste in da gwound!" Chill out, Nevada. You are the 35th most populated state with the 7th largest area. There are less than 25 people per square mile. And 70% of that population lives in Las Vegas. I think you can let us use one friggn mountain out in the desert.
So anyway yeah when they say that they are traveling to "where you store all your nuclear waste" and then cut to a sign that says "Yucca Mountain" it makes me want to rip my eyeballs out.
Gigantic Monsters eat nuclear weapons because they "feed on radiation."
Lol wut. What does that even mean? Does anyone have any idea? No, ok whatever we'll go with it. OH OK SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO EAT NUCLEAR MISSILES SURE. I mean I'm not a nuclear engineer but I'm pretty sure that's not how radiation works.
Also there's a part where they have to remove the remote detonation device on a missile (because some of the monsters can emit an EMP that would knock out anything electronic... ok I'll buy it). So the answer is to retrofit the missile with a mechanical detonation device. Yeah just retrofit a nuclear remote detonation device with what appears to be a big pile of gears. Makes sense.
That part when Ken Watanabe says "Let Them Fight."
No just kidding I loved that part.
Overall I'd say the movie was 5/10. Entertaining but I mean I wouldn't watch it if I had something else to do that day.
