Kyle as a Half-Bear

Ok, re-reading that run-on story got me to wondering what it would look like if Kyle were actually a half-bear, half-human monster. So I used my incredible MS Paint skills to construct what I believe is a near photograph quality jpeg.

ZOMG terrifying

The photograph was taken sophomore year right before we were going to go out to a "Green Party." Hence the green. I'm not entirely sure what is going on here with Nadkarni and Kyle in this particular pose, but I'm not complaining. This is actually pretty standard as far as 4th floor South Hall shenanigans go. Kyle, I really hope that you don't ever get involved with some crazy experiment where they attempt bear-DNA splicing or something, converting you to the bear-human hybrid shown. You would be adorbs, but I'm pretty sure the only way to kill you would be with more bear-human hybrids. And then we just get into the Russian Doll situation where we don't know when to stop because we've manufactured so many bear monsters to kill the previous one that there aren't many regular human beings left. WHOSE SIDE WILL YOU BE ON IN THE GREAT BEAR-HUMAN HYBRID VS REGULAR HUMAN WAR???

You may be wondering how and when I developed such amazing MS Paint skills, as you are no doubt currently cleaning the feces out of your favorite pair of pants because you violently shat yourself when you saw the impressive, awe-inspiring brilliance of that MS Paint image. I'll tell you. It was during my internship, where one week I was so bored that I literally spent over 15 hours making a detailed portrait depicting Dodgeball House residents and other friends in a fanciful re-creation of a dodgeball game.

It is pretty small, but you can tell: this was made with love...and an internship in which I had way too much free time.

Some highlights include: me pelting Jizz Jizz in the face with a dodgeball (while he listens to music in his big goofy headphones, Chad distracting the opposing team in typical Jester fashion, Kyle about to...axe somebody? Cronin with crab claws (wtf?), Matt with the front of his t-shirt tucked in (his t-shirt expresses his love for Leon, his idol and the main protagonist of Resident Evil 4), and Nate looking so intense and angry that he may have just literally murdered the rest of the other team.