Tanzania: Safari Time

After climbing Kilimanjaro, Korin and I had decided to indulge in five days of safari, because, hey, we're in friggn Africa.  Let's see some animals.  Once again, here are the words of past me in journal form.  Hope you enjoy!  (If you don't then you are a heartless monster).

One of the many Jumbos that I made friends with in Tanzania

Monday 12/17/2012
Well today was magical!  It started similar to the morning we started the climb: wake up, prepare our stuff, nom a bit (that porridge stuff really grew on me during the hike), and then wait for our Land Rover.  But then Benny, our safari guide, arrived in a "fashionable late" mentality that we would come to learn was pretty standard.  Great guy, super informative.  He certainly loves birds.
Side note: I'm not sure if it's his particular accent, or a Swahili-English language thing, but one thing I noticed was his treatment of the letter Y.  He would often drop it with words that require it: "Look at those donks!  They get very close to the road; they are craze."  He would also occasionally add a Y where one doesn't belong: "This park is one thousandy, three hundredy and eleveny square kilometers."  I loved it.
After a four hour drive and box lunch (MANGO JUICE), our safari adventure began in Lake Manyara National Park.  HOLY FUCK SO MANY ANIMALS.  Right at the visitor's center: friendly Blue Monkeys.

If you're looking for food that doesn't suck, you'll be sorely disappointed

Most of the park is a driving only area, where you drive through the forests and just kind of look at shit.  The Land Rover we have has a roof door where we can stand up and observe (taking scientific notes all the while but not really), which we did almost the entire ride.  First thing we saw were Baboons going through "mating procedures."  Nice.

Humans might be the only species in which consensus is a thing

Then some Impalas and JUMBOS.  Huge African Elephants marching around in front of us.  That was exactly what I was hoping I'd see when I came.

Tusks are a novelty when the only Elephants you've ever seen have been in zoos

But that wasn't all.  We saw all kinds of birds, Warthogs, a big herd of Giraffe, some Zebra, more Baboons and other black-faced monkeys, little Dik Dik (spelling? whatever, it's a little mini deer that just runs away IN ZIGZAGS), a huge lizard, and a Wildebeest from afar.

Evolution is weird sometimes

At one point we stopped at "Hippo Pond" and saw a huge Hippo and a bunch of seemingly annoying birds on it's back.

The best part wasn't the Hippo.  It was watching the people watching the Hippo.  One guy had a camera as big as his torso, I swear.  Camo colored.  He even had matching camo knee pads.  KNEE PADS.

And the whole park was really pretty - some interesting trees, including what I like to call a Dong Tree, because it has a bunch of dong-shaped legume things hanging from it.  AND we saw a big bull elephant excreting some liquid waste.  The mass flow of that urine was... disturbing.

my god

Best of all a huge bull Elephant came really close and stared at me for a while.  Best moment ever?  I love jumbos, holy crap.
Now we're at the hotel, which is pretty nice.  Up in the hills, surrounded by a bunch of villages in a really pretty area.  Time for some food soon.

Dinner was pretty decent: pumpkin bisque, buffet meal, and Tusker beer - the beer named after the Elephant that MURDERED THE COMPANY FOUNDER.  We then played a board game, designed for African children, with some other Americans who are a lot of fun.  Also, this hotel kicks ass.  I think I'm just really pumped up right now.

Now imagine this but with techno music

Tuesday 12/18/2012
I'm sitting in Serengeti National Park writing from my campsite.  It's more like a nice hotel room underneath a tent canvas.  Four-post beds, bathroom, shower area, a dining tent with a bar: it's kind of over the top.  The only thing is that we were warned to keep all our shoes in the tent at night or Hyenas would wreck our stuff.

If they arrive in puppy form then I'm ok with that

This might be the best campground ever.  I am currently sitting no more than a quarter mile away from an enormous African Cape Buffalo and two Giraffe.  This park is beautiful.  Just expansive plains that seem to go on forever.  What a day.
We had breakfast at the hotel.  Nothing out of the ordinary... except we had tiny chicken wings with the buffet.  I ate ten.  After this ambrosia-like meal, we drove over to the Ngorongoro Crater.  We only drove along the rim today, and will return on Thursday.  What an incredible view though.

There are tens of thousands of animals down there.  Just waiting to be looked at.

Then on to the Serengeti!
Serengeti means "infinite plains," or something similar.  And it is aptly named.  Sometimes you see some of the famous Flat-Topped Acasia trees, sometimes just grass.  For as far as your eyes can see in every direction.  So beautiful.  We drove by a plethora of Gnu (Wildebeest) and Zebra, because I believe they are migrating along the south of the park right now.  Also some Giraffe, Gazelles, other deer-ish animals too.  We passed by a couple of sleepy Hyena pups, a Green Mamba (super poisonous! sleep tight!), Baboons, a Warthog, and a huge herd of African Cape Buffalo, which are one of the "Big Five."  The Big Five are the five famous African animals that back in the day were the hardest animals to hunt on foot.  They include the African Elephant (saw a few more of them today), Cape Buffalo, Leopard (kind of saw one's ass lazing around in a tree), Rhino (hopefully will see one soon!), and Lion.  We saw three different Lion prides today. One from far off, another pride just sleeping by some water pretty damn near the road, and a bigger pride hanging out by a tree.  SO AMAZING.  They are bigger than you realize when they aren't behind a cage at the zoo.

This is for real

What did the father buffalo say to the kid buffalo when he left for buffalo school? "Bison." No but really these are actual Buffalo and not American Bison.

This is what the Serengeti looks like and it is awesome

Driving today was gorgeous.  It was just great standing out the top window enjoying the view.  And this campground is pretty damn ritzy.  I'm pumped.
At night, I heard the sounds of Hyenas barking all around our tent.  And at one point, the grunting of a huge animal grazing right in front of our door.  I couldn't see what it was, but it sounded like a Buffalo.  Because I'm pretty much an expert at these kinds of things now.  In the morning there was an enormous dookie pile just in front of the tent.

Wednesday 12/19/2012
We awoke to what appeared to be a 50 lb shit right in front of our tent.  Nice.  Breakfast was somehow not ruined, and after that it was off to explore more of the Serengeti!
Elephants never cease to be amazing.  Some Giraffe, Zebra, Warthogs, etc. as well.  The same asshole Leopard was hiding in the same damn tree.  Oh, and a shitload of Hippos hanging out in a pond.  AND we saw two Cheetahs hanging out on the plains.  Apparently they are incredibly rare to see.
We returned for lunch and played some non-two-person card games with our American friends, who are a lot of fun.  James, Rebecca, and Tom: thank you for adding some company.  We hang out with them whenever we're back at camp.  We should be starting up again soon for part 2 of our drive today.

Our second half of today's safari was fun in that we got to enjoy Africa out the top of a car, as per usual, but nothing really new to see besides a nice sunset.  We saw similar plains animals (a lot of Gazelles) and more Hippos and Storks, which are one of the more hideous specie of bird that I've seen.  At one point we got to assist another group who were stranded because one of their wheels "fell off," because that's a thing that happens.  WTF.  Anyway, we drove until sunset, which was gorgeous.  My favorite part was seeing Giraffes silhouetted with the Sun setting behind them.

Now it can be your favorite too

After dinner we just played cards and drank beer.  More beer than cards.  I went to urinate and a Hyena was just skulking around and I had to chase it off.  When I looked around with my headlamp, I saw a few more sets of eyes glowing back.  Not un-creepy.  They have these really weird calls that they make all night. Kind of cool.  Now I'm in my tent staring at two huge Buffalo outside the window.  Surreal.  So awesome.

Thursday 12/20/2012
It certainly doesn't feel like we're nearing Christmas; it went up to like 90 degrees today.
As usual, we started with a breakfast (the contents of which I was beginning to tire of) and were quickly back on our way to the park entrance to head to our next destination.  A few groups are staying for another day in the Serengeti.  It's really just more of the same.  And even though it's incredible and beautiful and I'll regret saying this later, but it gets a little hackneyed over and over.  Like we're inundated with it.
Before we left, we were accosted by a family in the middle of a six-day safari, hiking Kilimanjaro after.  They wanted every minute detail about the climb, which we were obliged to help as much as we could.  We told them that pee-bottles would REALLY come in handy to avoid middle-of-the-night-bathroom-runs.  They would be hiking on Christmas day.  At first I was like "oh cool!" until I thought about the fact that this meant the porters and guides would also be hiking on Christmas day, which is unfortunate.  But enough of the digression.
On our way out of the park, we passed a few more Lion prides, one of which was hanging out right next to the road, 20 ft from our car.  I had the urge to jump out and pet one, but managed to restrain myself.  We also passed by the migrating herd of Wildebeest and Zebra at the south end of the park: 1.8 million strong.  It was insane.  As far as you could see in every direction, just animals everywhere.  Tangled up with them were some Ostrich, Impalla, and a pack of Hyenas trying to catch a weak animal off guard.

They just keep going

These animals are 70% neck

Come on dude.  Early bird catches the worm.

It was only an hour drive from the Serengeti to the Ngorongoro Crater.  This time we followed the beautiful view all the way into the crater, which was a flat, grassy are devoid of trees where all of the animals mingled and partied together.  From afar, in the lake, you could see a crapload of Flamingos.  That is, if you don't trip over the Lion pride RIGHT in the MIDDLE of the road.  So cool.

To their credit, it is really freaking hot.  I would be lying down too.

Probably the closest to a wild Lion I'll ever be in my life.  Well, hopefully.

In the crater were Wildebeest, Buffalo, Elephants, Warthogs, Zebra, and a Cerval Cat, hanging out together.  We even saw another Cheetah, unsuccessfully scouting some food.  And FINALLY we saw a Rhino!  Well, two.  But one looked like a far away rock with a horn.  The other was most certainly a Rhino.  Our "Big Five" is complete.
After a day of probably the worst future sunburns ever, we made it back to Karatu, the town near our hotel near Lake Manyara.  We got some Tanzanian Shillings so we could obtain a few Christmas presents for family back in Moshi.
Also, on our way back from the crater, we passed by many Maasai.  The Maasai are a tribe in this area usually herding their goats or cattle to graze.  A lot of the children sit by the roads in hopes of flagging down tourists for money.
Dinner was awkward.  Korin and I were the only English speaking guests in the hotel, which is very out of the ordinary.  Everyone else was from Germany.  Everyone.  What the hell is going on?

Friday 12/21/2012
Our last day on safari.  Today was a drive to Tarangire National Park.  It would prove to be quite a hot day, adding to our already annoying sunburns.  The main attraction of this particular park (they have many of the same animals that we've seen already) is the Baobab Tree.  It has an enormous fatass trunk and gets smaller at the top.  Definitely a cool thing to see.

Some poachers would used hollowed out trees for their evil designs

The main awesomeness on today's agenda was an enormous herd of Elephants, over 90 Elephants (Korin actually counted).  So amazing.  Some were frolicking and playing and trumpeting and the occasional "intimate" moments.

Why is it that every non-human infant is so incredibly adorbs?

We were in the middle of an enormous herd.  It was just insane.

He eventually gave up

We also passed by another Lion, observing some Zebra.  But then it sat down, and were were all like "ugh." You know it's time to end the safari when you get jaded by LIONS.  Before heading back to Moshi, we had some lunch at the park, where a monkey stole Korin's banana.  Classic.  Now we are heading into the city (Moshi) with our American friends for some Indian food.

Well, that was an experience.  The shuttle to Moshi was late, as was our food, but it didn't matter because it was really good (and cheap).  We then found a "taxi" (a dude with a car) to take us back to the hotel after haggling over the equivalent of 70 cents.

Saturday 12/22/2012
Today was a day dedicated to exploring Moshi.  Our flight isn't until 9:30pm, so we had the day to travel into the town to get some gifts and explore.  It was kind of fun haggling with everyone, and I actually got some decent deals.  People are so funny when they haggle here.  They never say a price out loud, but rather show you the numbers on a calculator.  After saying "this is ridiculous" about three times, I end up paying about 1/5 to 1/4 the initial asking price.  At one point the guy is like "no you just don't understand, the Shilling  isn't worth as much as a dollar," to which Korin and I replied "no we understand how conversion rates work."  Fun stuff.
After a light rain storm, it was back to the hotel to pack up and get ready for out looooooooooong trip home.

Moshi: an interesting place

Just an Elephant enjoying Africa