Davies's Birthday in Las Vegas

Weekend of Oct. 26, 2009

Las Vegas

(I don't remember some of this!)

One of the other guys in our program also out in CA, Andrew Davies, decided to bookt a suite at the Bellagio in Vegas for his birthday and invite all of us out for an X-TREME VEGAS WEEKEND. Those of us working at different bases in CA all converged to his place west of LA before heading out to Vegas the next day for some baller-as-fuck Vegas adventures.
The plans for this epic weekend actually started a few weeks before, where Ryan came up with the brilliant plan to throw Davies a Vegas-inspired fake bachelor party. This included shirts with individualized quotes like "sorry ladies, I'm taken" for Davies, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except herpes, that shit comes back," for Ryan, and "I'm a philanthropist" for me (reference Always Sunny in Philadelphia where Charlie can't say the word correctly and instead spits out "I'm a full-on rapist"). Ryan, Eddie, and some others literally stayed awake all night BUYING A PRINTER, printing these iron-on images for the shirts, and actually making them in secret to keep it a surprise. They came out great.

Damn these shirts look goooood

So here's an overview of most of the day Saturday: ate a breakfast which included several different kinds of meat. It was... shall we say... ripe for innuendos? We then drove out to Vegas and checked into the suite at the Bellagio. We had to walk by a giant fountain of liquid-chocolate. So... that's a thing. Then we went swimming for a bit, had some road-beers, and sat down at an enormous buffet where I stuffed my face until people started getting bored because I was eating for so long, so we left. That's when the real fun started.
Back in the suite we surprised Davies with the "bachelor party" t-shirts and started working on a backstory we would tell anyone who asked about it. His "bride-to-be" was named "Crindy" and was a hand-model. She was also 6'1", but to be fair this was a bit I had to make up on the spot when someone asked us about her:
Random guy: "how tall is his fiance?"
Nick: "oh she's about this hi-"
Me: "she's six-one"
Random guy: "oh wow she's tall"
Me: "yeah"

But I digress. Back at the suite we were pregaming pretty hard to a little thingI like to call Horserace. You make "bets" at the beginning for the number for drinks you'll give out or take based on which suit (horse) wins the race. Spoiler alert: nobody everybody wins. Some people even started betting real money on the game. WIN COLUMN. And then it was time to hit the town...

My favorite part was when we could walk around outside drinking beer while yelling random lies about Davies getting married to a fake woman

Long story short: nobody "made" any money, but we all had a fairly ridiculous night. I think at one point some British cougars tried to get me to give them my shirt as I was playing Let It Ride. I was actually winning, which was great, and I went against every instinct and told those ladies to GTFO, because that shirt was awesome. I think our last move for the night was to hit up a convenience store for some more road-beers after we were all casino'd-out. Pretty sure I broke even that night.
The next morning (afternoon) we got up and went DIRECTLY to In N' Out for breakfast (lunch). GOD DAMNIT I LOVE THAT PLACE.
After returning to Davies's place in CA, I decided that I still had some adventure left in me, so I opted to drive to Hollywood for the evening. WHAT? Is that really what I decided to do? "Hey guys, great weekend. It's getting late and I've got work tomorrow, but hey, I think I want to check out Hollywood tonight." Yep. That's almost exactly how it panned out. So I drove to LA, saw the sunset through the INTENSE POLLUTION THAT SURROUNDS THAT NAUSEATING CITY, and walked around the Walk of Fame and Sunset Boulevard.

I think ten minutes in Hollywood is about all you really need

Before heading home (a little under four hours away), I decided to drive up to the Hollywood sign. This proved to be a dark labyrinth through an extremely opulent neighborhood, but I eventually got there (close at least; there's a limit to how close you can get). I got out of my car to walk over and take a picture. Apparently I wasn't the only person who wanted to get closer to the sign: I accidentally stumbled upon a couple having sex out in a field. "Stumbled" is almost a very accurate word, because I literally didn't see them until I almost tripped over them. My only response was "holy fuck! oh, uh..... sorry." and then sidled away. It was a really awkward type of hilarious.