Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Craigslist Coffee Table

I recently found an old posting of a coffee table that I sold back in 2009.  I completely forgot about it and thought it was gone forever, but NOPE.  So here it is, because it was mildly amusing back when I made it.  FYI a friend bought it after reading about how extremely amazing it was.


Coffee Table - $25 (Somerville)


Date: 2009-08-23, 3:06PM EDT
Reply to: --


This is the greatest coffee table ever in existence. How could I possibly know that? I just do. You might be asking "if it's the greatest coffee table in existence, why are you selling it?" I am nowhere near awesome enough to set cups or books on this mighty table. Your next question might be "why are you only selling it for $25 if its the greatest in the universe?" Because sharing this table with others basically guarantees me a ticket into heaven. I'm not going to screw that up by selling the table for what it is actually worth (somewhere in the neighborhood of all the money on Earth). This table was designed to hold the exact optimum number of items for perfect coffee table efficiency. I know, it sounds pretty incredible.

The coffee table has a brass frame (wobbles a tiny bit, but this allows the table to remain standing in even the worst earthquakes) and a glass top. You can take the top off the frame. If you still feel that you are unworthy of such an amazing table (this is definitely a possibility), then close your internet browser now, because the image you are about to see will BLOW YOUR MIND.

Obviously you want this coffee table (you pretty much NEED it), but please only contact me if you are are serious about dealing with the awesomeness that this table exudes.
  • Location: Somerville
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


I found this after posting a new Craigslist ad for my current dining-room table.  I noticed that they are quite similar:

Dining-room Table (Glass Top, Extremely Awesome) - $30.00 (Harvard Square)


Date: 2012-09-16, 11:52AM EDT
Reply to: --


FACT: you need this table. This is the exact table you've been searching for all your life. The removable glass top is a beast. The heft proves that this table can withstand even the mightiest of accidents while looking damn good in the process. It measures at about 58"x38", which scientists maintain is the optimum area of a dining-room table for food placement, feng shui considerations, etc. The base is a smaller 35"x21". I'll even throw in a black table cloth for free, because I'm that generous of a guy.
You might be asking "but sir, why are you getting rid of such a perfect table?" The reason is because I now have more roommates, and we need a bigger table for various religious/non-religious rituals and for eating great, bountiful feasts fit for Kings. And frankly we are not worthy of a table such as this heroic glass-topped champion.
  • Location: Harvard Square
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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