Smoothie-a-Day Challenge: Week 2

Week 2 of this glorious smoothie-a-day challenge.  SO MANY DELICIOUS SMOOTHIES.  It's seriously- I just- Why haven't I thought to do this before?

Day 8
Name: Tropical Mystery Mix (there's no mystery, it's banana, pineapple, and kiwi.  Sorry for the confusion)
Difficulty: Cutting and scooping kiwis annoys me.  If you don't have that personality trait than this is pretty easy.
Rating: 4/10 I might be allergic to kiwis or something
Ingredients:
- 1 banana (I'm noticing that this makes for a good base in most smoothies
- 1 kiwi
- 1/4 cucumber (frozen, not sure if that matters though)
- 1/2ish cup of pineapple (and juice) from a can
- 1/2 cup apple cider
- 2 ice cubes

Notes:
Good flavor, but I get that weird scratchiness from the kiwi again.  Maybe I'm allergic.  Either way kiwis and I are not on the greatest terms right now.

Day 9
Name: Strawberry-Peach (hint: it has strawberries and peaches)
Difficulty: Moderate.  Unless you know how to open cans, then you're golden.
Rating: 9/10 this thing is monstrously delicious
Ingredients:
- 4/5 frozen strawberries
- about 1/2 peach.  I used canned peach, but that's what it looks like to me
- 1/4 cucumber (frozen, not sure if that matters though)
- 1 ice cube
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1 teaspoon honey

Notes:
This tastes phenomenal.  If you don't like canned fruit then go buy a fresh peach you pretentious hipster; I've got student loans and a videogame addiction that I need to feed.

Day 10
Name: Strawberry Pineapple (no clever name here, sorry guys)
Difficulty: Sentient Infant
Rating: 8/10
Ingredients:
- 3 frozen strawberries
- 1/2ish cup of cut pineapples (again, I used canned so deal with it)
- 1/2ish cup milk
- 1/2ish cup apple cider
- 6 oz strawberry yogurt

Notes:
This guy was a pretty standard, good smoothie.  It's like if you took all of the ingredients, blended them up, and then drank what came out.

Day 11
Name: Chocolate Banana Pineapple
Difficulty: If you have hands and taste buds, this should be just fine!
Rating: 7/10
Ingredients:
- 1 banana
- 1/2 cup cut pineapples (with some juice from can)
- 1/2 cup milk
- like 2 or 3 tbs vanilla yogurt
- 1 or 2 teaspoons of chocolate syrup
- 1 or 2 ice cubes

Notes:
Chocolate covered bananas are pretty decent, right?  Well imagine that in liquid form, but with the fun atmosphere of a pineapple getting involved.  It's good.

Day 12
Name: Peach - Pineapple - Grape
Difficulty: Fourth Grade Spelling Test
Rating: 6/10
Ingredients:
- about half a cup of grapes
- 1/2 cup pineapple pieces
- about half a peach (from a can if you really want to emulate this flavor)
- 1/2 cup apple cider
- 1/4ish cup milk
- 1/2ish cup vanilla yogurt

Notes:
The pineapple was a bit overpowering, but hey, if you like that kind of thing then you should be all set.

Day 13
Name: Peach and Berries (I like to think this refers to Princess Peach and the "berries" are like her personal Goombas or something stupid like that)
Difficulty: So easy when you already have an open can of peaches
Rating: 9/10
Ingredients:
- about 1/3 of a peach (it's hard to estimate, get off my back)
- 1/2ish cup of frozen mixed berries
- 3/4 cup milk
- 1/2ish cup of vanilla yogurt
- teaspoon of honey

Notes:
Peach was kind of drowned out by the plentiful berries but that's cool because those taste pretty rad.  Plentiful berries?  What?

Day 14
Name: Berries and Peanutbutter
Difficulty: Controlling the Fly-by-Wire Missile in Perfect Dark
Rating: 7/10
Ingredients:
- 1/2ish cup of frozen mixed berries (or mix your own if you're feeling audacious)
- 1 tablespoon of peanutbutter
- 1/2ish cup of vanilla yogurt
- 1/2ish cup of milk

Notes:
Maybe adding some more milk or some ice would help, this didn't make a lot of smoothie.  And if you know me, I require an enormous volume of smoothie to fill the void.

Catching Fire - A Sequel to a sub-mediocre movie

Remember a few years ago when I saw the Hunger Games?  Well last night I went to the opening night viewing of the fast-paced, thrilling sequel.  Catching Fire: a Hunger Games Story.  That's not the real title.  This movie is based on the second of three children's books, but it's about children killing each other (kind of like an American version of Battle Royale), so... you know... I obviously read them.  If you are completely unfamiliar with this entire series, well then I can't really help you.  Also: potential "spoilers" below but not really.

Let me just start by saying that I thought this movie was a lot better than the first one.  I was ok with exchanging currency to watch it.  With that said, there were a few things that were... "off-putting."

I walked out of the theater thinking this was a comedy, but I'm sure I remember reading the book and thinking it was supposed to be somewhat dramatic?  It must be because the serious parts had such an awkward tone: the acting was over-the-top and unbelievable, especially during these moments that were just not that important.  In the books, there's an internal thought process where Katniss is hyper-paranoid about everything and without those internal thoughts it just makes for super awkward reactions in the movie.  The acting is a lot better in this movie: certainly well above "wooden planks," or at the very least it's a very high quality wood.  But the result is that these moments are just laughable.  My favorite moment is when Katniss lazily moans "the gas is poison(!)"  I'm not convinced you give a shit, Katniss.

It also seems like "flow" is the absolute furthest thing from the director's mind when creating this movie.  It almost seems like he filmed a bunch of scenes from the book, hurled them into sequence (maybe not even the correct sequence?), and then stated "I have finished this movie."

Here's an example of what the storyboard must have been like:

- TITLE SCREEN (maybe if we have time)
- Open to a scene in the woods, Katniss is holding a bow.  She's apparently hunting.  Also she's sad cuz of Hunger Games
- Cut to her house.  It's a new house (we won't explain why for half an hour).  The president is there and he has an angry.
- Cut to Kissing scene with Peeta.
- Cut to people on a train
- Cut to now we're talking to some of the other districts because that's apparently what happens for no reason.  The Capitol is angry that people are mildly positive toward Katniss so they are executed.
- FADE through all the other districts.  This is a montage with emotions, but we won't know what those emotions are.  More people die (probably).
- Cut to everyone is back in District 12 but the Capitol is looting/burning a warehouse because of reasons.  We're going for the audience to be beyond confused as to what is happening.
- Cut to multiple people watching different TVs.  We won't explain it but this is actually a pivotal moment in the movie.  The president makes an off-hand mention that maybe some of the past tributes will be in the Hunger Games again but you can't really hear him.  All you know is that Katniss is screaming in the woods for what might be weeks.
- Cut to another train
- Cut to a horse.  Yeah why not throw in a random horse?  Oh now I know why it's because we have to introduce the guy with that super creepy smile and he's got sugar for the horse or something stupid.

"Do you want this sugar cube lol?"

- After an hour and 15 minutes, we'll finally start the Hunger Games
At this point the movie is pretty decent.

If, at any point during the first half of this movie, you have a thought other than "what the fuck is going on" then you have a special gift my friend, because the only thing my brain was capable of doing was silently screaming "WHAT" over and over.

Also there's a scene with Baboons in which Katniss easily pushes away an attacking male Baboon.  Yes, that's correct.  A 17 year old girl fights off a 300 lb alpha-male Baboon with razor sharp teeth in a scene that does not result in a Baboon ripping out a teenager's throat.  That's not how science works.

Smoothie-a-Day Challenge: Week 1

As most of you are aware, smoothies are one of the best food items ever.  If you weren't aware of that, now you are.  I usually make one after I go running or lift or whatever, mostly because they taste awesome, but also because they are "good for you?"  Mostly the taste.  I've gotten pretty decent at the ones I make, but I wanted to branch out a bit from the normal "mixed berry awesomefest" that I always make to try some new ones, throw in some new ingredients, get some veggies all up in here, etc.  END OF BACKSTORY.

Yeah, I'm going to make a different kind of smoothie every day for a month.

Day 1
Name: Strawberry-Vanilla, aka RAWberry Vanilla (super clever name)™
Difficulty: Mediocre Enthusiast
Rating: 10/10 - flavor kicks ass, deal with it
Ingredients:
- 6-7 frozen strawberries rawberries
- 1/2ish cup of milk (if you are using anything but whole milk then it's YOUR FUNERAL)
- 1/2ish cup of vanilla yogurt (get the greek stuff. it's "good for you?")
- 2 ice cubes (it's just frozen water, science is cool!)
- 1 teaspoon honey
- like half a teaspoon of vanilla extract

Notes:
It's like a strawberry punch in the face, with a smooth vanilla aftertaste that makes your tongue go like "whoa! oh ok no that was pretty nice."

Day 2
Name: Cucumber-Kale Concoction
Difficulty: Vegetable Rocket Science
Rating: 3/10 - not sweet enough
Ingredients:
- 3 kale leaves
- 1/3 of a cucumber
- 3 frozen strawberries
- 1/4ish cup of vanilla yogurt
- 1/4ish cup of milk
- 1/4ish cup of OJ
- 1 teaspoon honey (add more, it might make it a bit sweeter)
- 2 ice cubes

Notes:
Not entirely flavorful enough, or thick enough, for optimum results.  But thanks to the kale and cucumber it was super refreshing!  And probably had some vitamins or whatever.

Day 3
Name: Kiwi-Strawberry Fiesta
Difficulty: Kiwis are not easy
Rating: 7/10 - great taste, but the kiwi leaves a weird aftertaste thing
Ingredients:
- 5 frozen strawberries
- 1 banana
- 1 kiwi
- 1 tbs vanilla yogurt
- 1/4 cup of milk
- 1/4 cup of OJ

Notes:
Seriously it tasted super good, but for whatever reason the kiwi left like a scratchy residue/aftertaste and it was just weird.  Maybe it wasn't ripe yet?  Other than that this smoothie kicked ass.

Day 4
Name: Bluth Banana Stand
Difficulty: Actually pretty damn easy
Rating: 8/10
Ingredients:
- 1 banana
- 1 teaspoon peanutbutter (if you eat anything but chunky then what is wrong with you)
- 1 tablespoon chocolate sauce
- 1 cup of milk
- 1-2 ice cubes

Notes:
THIS TASTES LIKE A CHOCOLATEY PEANUTBUTTERY BANANA TREAT.  But I suppose you would assume as much given the ingredients... still thought it was really good.  Make sure not to give the recipe to GOB or Steve Holt.

Day 5
Name: Banana Berry Bonanza.  That's right.  "Bonanza."
Difficulty: Not even at all.  It's super easy.  Just make it.
Rating: 9/10 would make again
Ingredients:
- 1 banana
- 1 teaspoon honey
- 1/2ish cup of frozen mixed berries
- 1/2 cup of milk
- 3/4 cup vanilla yogurt

Notes:
This is pretty much my standard smoothie.  I dare you to dislike it.  DARE.  Actually don't, I don't need that kind of pressure.

Day 6
Name: Bananas-Ananas (see it's international because pineapple is a weird word)
Difficulty: Easy if you buy stuff in cans
Rating: 7/10
Ingredients:
- 1 banana
- 1/2 cup of pineapple pieces (and juice if it's canned)
- 3 ice cubes
- 1/2 cup apple cider

Notes:
It's honestly that simple.  And tastes like a combination of... bananas and pineapples.  This was expected.  I feel like it would have been even better if I put some alcohol in it and drank it on the beach.

Day 7
Name: Banana Bluebs
Difficulty: This little guy?  I wouldn't worry about this little guy.
Rating: 8/10
Ingredients:
- 1 banana
- 1/2ish cup frozen blueberries
- 1 cup apple cider
- 1 teaspoon honey
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Notes:
Not too shabby.  A lot like the berry/banana one.  But with only bluebs instead of a medley of berries.  I'm not going to write anymore, because this is pretty simple stuff.

Emails with a Font Specialist

This email wasn't even sent to me. It was sent to Katie. They don't even seem to notice that someone else is responding. Just goes to illustrate how these people don't care who they are scamming; they just want to steal money from anyone. This is why I thoroughly enjoy messing with them.


Oct. 18, 2013
Subject: My Letter To You
From: "Katie's Brother"
To: Katie

My letter to you

My letter to you
I'm sorry but happy to inform you about my success in getting the funds
transferred,under the co-operation of a new partner from India,though i
tried my best to involve you in the business,but God decided the whole
situation.Presently i'm in India for investment projects with my own share.
Meanwhile,i did not forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in
transferring the funds,despite that it failed us somehow.

Now contact my secretary.Her name is Mrs.Ngaidama
and E-mail address is; [email]
I have instructed her to send you the total sum of $800.000.00
(Eight Hundred Thousand US.Dollars Only)which i kept as a
compensation for all your past efforts and attempts to assist
me in this transaction.I appreciate your efforts at that time.
Get in touch with my secretary immediately.Do not forget to
let me know,when you receive it.At the moment,i am occupied
with the investment projects which i have at hand.

Finally,remember that i had left every necessary and strict
instructions to my secretary on your behalf,to receive the money.
Get in touch with Mrs.Ngaidama.She will send this amount to you,
without delay.
Regards,
Your brother


Oct. 18, 2013
Subject: Email about compensation
From: Christopher Brannigan
To: Susan Ngaidama

Hello Mrs. Ngaidama,

I was recently informed that you would be able to send me $800,000 (US currency) for compensation for all my past efforts. I am happy to inform you that I am capable of receiving those funds now. Please advise.

Your friend,
Christopher Brannigan

Oct. 18, 2013
Subject: Your DRAFT Payments No: 003005096834
From: Susan Ngaidama

To: Christopher Brannigan

                DEAR CLIENT

        Re:Your DRAFT Payments No:003005096834

   We are a Financial Intermediary Agent and
    Brokers 
   { FINANCIAL GLOBAL SERVICES} FGS

We have been directed by your client to remit a payments
of sum total USD. $800,000.00 eight hundred thousand united
states dollars ONLY which is cashable on demand.

The order is to effect this to you,on request and on due confirmation processes.We have been given specified order that no representative or agent should receive this payments on your behalf.We shall henceforth
send the payments to you once we have confirmed and once you have
also completed our terms of service and also provide us with relevant
information for our confirmation from our official records to enable us process and effect your payments before the expiration of it's cashable
date limit/duration.

1.) You are to scan and send to us your recent (2) passports sized
     photographs

2.) Your International Identification/Drivers Licence Operational

3)  Your full Contact Address-Residence and OR Office/Work.

4.) Any other specified Information/Particulars or medium where you
     will want to receive your money.

  

It is our duty to make sure that you receive your money safely and quickly as directed.This measures we have taken makes it faster safer and reliable for you to receive your money withing 3 days.Once we are in receipts of necessary pre-requisites from you as stated,we shall go ahead to effect your payments to you without any delay.

ALREADY THIS WEEK,WE ARE DISPATCHING FUNDS

TO BOLIVIA;PERU;SPAIN;ECUADOR;MEXICO;KENYA

AND THE REST.

We are following our operations proceedures to make sure that all our customer's worldwide are efficiently represented.Under these measures,
we are protected under the law and is legally held responsible and liable
for any breach of contractual agreements and or failure's incured in executing our services to our customer's worldwide.

                    SINCERELY,

         Mrs.Susan Ngaidama

    SECRETARY

Oct. 18, 2013
Subject: Email about compensation
From: Christopher Brannigan
To: Susan Ngaidama

Hi Mrs. Susan Ngaidama,

I'm traveling to Rivendell this week for work, so I'm on my blackberry right now.  Unfortunately, your email didn't load properly and came out as a series of angry-faced wingdings.  The only text I received was "SINCERELY, Mrs. Susan Ngaidama SECRETARY"

I assume the caps lock feature was a result of the same mobile error that resulted in a page of unhappy wingding symbols.  Please advise.

Your friend,

Christopher "Zap" Brannigan

Oct. 18, 2013
Subject: INFO/ Your DRAFT Payments No: 003005096834
From: Susan Ngaidama

To: Christopher Brannigan

[Exact same email as before]

Oct. 19, 2013
Subject: INFOS.
From: Susan Ngaidama

To: Christopher Brannigan

DEAR CLIENT

Re:Your DRAFT Payments No:
003005096834

CHECK YOUR EMAIL & GET BACK 

TO US QUICKLY,TO ENABLE US
PROCESS YOUR REQUEST OF
CHEQUE PAYMENTS.

SINCERELY,

Mrs.Susan Ngaidama
SECRETARY

Oct. 21, 2013
Subject: CHECK YOUR EMAIL
From: Susan Ngaidama

To: Christopher Brannigan

[Exact same email as before... I think this person is only communicating to me via subject line]

Oct. 21, 2013
Subject: CHECK YOUR EMAIL
From: Christopher Brannigan

To: Susan Ngaidama

Hello Mrs. Susan Ngaidama,

You seem to be using the same font and text size.  As I mentioned earlier, my phone cannot handle emails larger than the screen, so please change your font size so that we can communicate.  Judging by your email subject lines, it appears that this business is of a very urgent nature.  I would appreciate it if you would refrain from sending me nonsensical wingdings instead of instructions of how I can procure unparalleled wealth.

tl;dr PLEASE SEND ME AN EMAIL WITH SMALLER FONT SO THAT I MAY READ IT.

Thanks for your concern,

Christopher "Zap" Brannigan

Oct. 21, 2013
Subject: INFO/ Your DRAFT Payments No: 003005096834
From: Susan Ngaidama

To: Christopher Brannigan

[Same exact email as before, but all in size 12 Times New Roman text]

Oct. 21, 2013
Subject: Confirmation Needed
From: Susan Ngaidama

To: Christopher Brannigan

Dear Client;

Message has been re-sent.

Confirm to us if you did receive it.

Sincerely,
Mrs Ngaidama

Oct. 21, 2013
Subject: Confirmation Needed
From: Christopher Brannigan

To: Susan Ngaidama

Hello Mrs. Ngaidama,

This is a confirmation that I have, in fact, received this email.

Thank you for the confirmation email.  Please confirm that you receive this email confirming that I have received yours.

Thanks,

Christopher "Zap" Brannigan

Oct. 23, 2013
Subject: Confirmation Needed
From: Susan Ngaidama

To: Christopher Brannigan

Info Confirmed.

We wait for your infos.

Mrs.Ngaidama

Oct. 23, 2013
Subject: Send Details
From: Susan Ngaidama

To: Christopher Brannigan

DEAR CLIENT;

We are waiting for your respective Datas
to enable us process and send your Cheque
to you.

Once we receive your datas and on due confirmation,
we will go ahead to release your Cheque to your
Receiving Contsct Address with immediate effect.

Sincerely,
Mrs.Ngaidama

Oct. 23, 2013
Subject: Send Details
From: Zap Brannigan

To: Susan Ngaidama

Hello Mrs. Ngaidama,

Thank you for confirming my confirmation.  I will now unleash my respective Datas:

My name is Christopher Brannigan, but most friends call me Zap.  I believe that you and I are close enough that you may also call me Zap.  I was born in an opium den in eastern Tennessee, but after obtaining my law degree from Winterfell University I moved to Long Island, New York.  Here I excel in naval piracy law, and as such, I travel quite extensively (which means I am usually unreachable by means other than blackberry... not the fruit).  I fell in love with a Brazilian haberdasher, but alas, our romance was not meant to be.  So I live alone on a house boat, contemplating life and occasionally fishing for dolphin.

If it please, you may send my cheque/check to my house boat.

Thank you,

Zap Brannigan

Oct. 26, 2013
Subject: Send Details
From: Zap Brannigan

To: Susan Ngaidama

Hello Mrs. Ngaidama,

I haven't heard from you and I'm awaiting your instructions.  Please inform me when you will be sending the cheque/check.  The winds will pick up soon, so I'm not sure how long I can stay in one location.

Your friend,

Zap Brannigan

Oct. 23, 2013
Subject: Requirements: Your DRAFT Payments No. 003005096834
From: Susan Ngaidama

To: Christopher Brannigan

[Same exact email as before, with the goofy fonts and everything]

Oct. 28, 2013
Subject: Requirements: Your DRAFT Payments No. 003005096834
From: Zap Brannigan

To: Susan Ngaidama

Hello Mrs. Susan Ngaidama,

How was your weekend.  I hope that it was lovely.  I'm writing to remind you that, despite your eagerness to get our business up and running, you keep sending me emails with erroneous fonts and nonsensical emails.  It appears that you are insistent upon giving me information riddled with non-standard fonts and colors.  As you are by now aware (as a result of my constant reminders to you), that this does not translate correctly when I read it.  If you have something important to tell me, please send me an email with the following formatting:

Font: Times New Roman

Text Size: 12

Color: Black

Punctuation: Normal (and let's stay away from the semicolons unless the situation actually calls for them)

I appreciate you working with me on this.  Please let me know when you will be sending my check for $800,000.  You can send it to my houseboat.

Thanks,

Zap Brannigan