Achievement Unlocked: I Turned 30 and Survived

Whelp, now I'm in my 30's, so I guess that means it's time to become an adult and become mature and stop eating four bowls of Lucky Charms for dinner.

As some of you know (except for the random people from China who apparently visit this blog nearly as much as visitors from the US), I've been keeping a list of bucket list items of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I turned 30.  I called it my "Under 30 List" and I didn't shut up about it.  I wrote it (mostly) the day after graduating college, and for whatever reason set my 30th birthday as an arbitrary "you better have accomplished some of the things I want to do, future self" end date.  I think it might have stemmed from that one Scrubs episode where J.D. turned 30 and realized he hadn't accomplished any of the things he thought he would have by that age.  We really loved Scrubs at Dodgeball Haus.  But I'd be DAMNED if I let that happen to me.  And that's the childish rationale of my incessant pursuit of checking off bucket list items.

For my 30th birthday, I wanted to check off as many of the remaining bucket list items as I could, which turned out to be a great excuse to drink around the world at Epcot and then Mardi Gras with amazing friends.  WHAT A PARTY INDEED.  It was definitely the best birthday of my life, which certainly helped avoid that "holy crap I'm a new decade in age now" depression. 
Here's also why my 30th year wasn't all THAT bad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp79N7RfM7Q

Now that the hangover from my Mardi Gras 30th celebration has finally started to subside, two weeks after returning from New Orleans, I suppose it's time to reflect on some stuff.  I guess that would be the ADULT thing to do.  Whatever.  You can't judge me; you're not my Mom (actually, if you're reading this blog, there's a 80% chance you are my Mom).

Live in California
This is kind of funny now that I've lived in San Francisco for a year and a half, but at the time I had never even been to the west coast.  I wanted to check out this "Cali-Fornia" place people kept talking about, and then I made a blog about it called "Goin' to California" and now you're reading it, so looks like I win this round!  That first stint out Californy-ways was just a three month rotation on a Naval Air Station in the middle of the state, but as a result I traveled all over California because I assumed it'd be a long time before I returned.  And now I live in California again because YOU CAN'T STOP THE JUGGERNAUT.

This isn't actually from one of my road trips into California, but from a drive around Lake Tahoe.  The sentiment is the same though so relax.

Eat the Spiciest Burger in the World
Oh fuck my whole life for adding this one.  If you want the entire story in gory details, check out the San Antonio portion of my California to Boston road trip entry here: http://sevsgoeswest.blogspot.com/2010/06/lost-journal-entries-2-return-trip-east.html
TL;DR - I wanted to eat the burger from Man vs. Food that has the four hottest peppers on it, including the ghost pepper, and it ruined my world.  One of the three times in my life where I was positive that I was going to die.  So yeah I ate the fucking spiciest burger in the world in San Antonio and I regret every second of it.

The pain is still palpable on my face an entire hour after eating the burger

Skydive
Oh I guess I blagged about this one before too: http://sevsgoeswest.blogspot.com/2010/07/apparently-i-enjoy-jumping-from-high.html
But yeah I moved back to Boston from the three months in California and was like YEAH it's time to rock out some more of these life goals!  Boom: jumped out of a plane.

Those little hats were entirely worthless other than making us look mildly penis-shaped

Go to Yellowstone
Another one of those moments where I said "fuck it, I want to go do that awesome thing on my list" and then made an entire road trip around it and convinced others to join me.  Six days exploring Yellowstone, headbutting Bison (not really), fighting bears (yes really), and ass sledding down snowy hills.  (One of many journal entry days: http://sevsgoeswest.blogspot.com/2011/07/epic-roadtrip-journal-61511-yellowstone.html)

Steam spouts and bison - it doesn't get much Yellowstone than that

Hike the Presidentials
For those of you who don't know about the Prezzie Traverse, first off shame on you, secondly it is a chain of 8 mountains in the New Hampshire White Mountain Range that are over 4000 ft, including the highest mountain in New England - Mt. Washington.  To hike the entire traverse means 21 miles of intense terrain all while your knees are exploding.  We started our hike about an hour after sunrise and finished just after the Sun was setting.  It was bonerific (that means good).  Oh look it turns out I actually used to write in this blog occasionally: http://sevsgoeswest.blogspot.com/2011/08/presidential-traverse.html

This is around mile one billion when our legs ache and we stop giving a shit about the views along the ridge

Brew Beer
I had wanted to brew my own beer for a while, so once again I said "fuck it, let's do this thing" one weekend and bought a beginners kit.  And then I learned that it looks waaaaay more daunting on paper than it actually is.  It's kind of fun and makes your entire house smell like delicious hops and malt that you can't drink for 6 weeks.  So now I occasionally brew my own beer and that's a pretty cool skill to have: RESUME BUILDER.

Eat the Vermonster
The Vermonster is this monstrous bucket of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream that you should only eat if you want to evolve into the fatter version of yourself.  It's 20 scoops of ice cream, a bunch of bananas and brownies and toppings and stuff.  Seven of us dove into it one evening and HOLY SHIT I AM JUST NOW LEARNING THAT THE VERMONSTER IS FOURTEEN THOUSAND CALORIES.  That's 2000 each from just a bucket of ice cream.  Worth it.  Especially because then we carried that empty bucket into every bar we went into that night and drank our beers out of it.  My favorite part of the evening was when a bouncer was like: "what's with the bucket?"  And my response was "it's an empty bucket."

It doesn't count unless you lick the bucket clean

Go to Bay to Breakers
Nooooohohohohoooo I didn't run Bay to Breakers, but rather did the typical San Francisco thing of walking the race route in a goofy costume while drinking.  A few of us visited Joe and Rebs for the weekend in SF, got up early to pre-game and get dressed up like Sexy Amish, and then meandered drunkenly down to Golden Gate Park.  Where I ended up taking a drunk nap until the weather got freezing cold and my phone battery died, all the while wearing nothing more than Jorts and suspenders.

Get Master's Degree
I guess my past self was feeling particularly academically driven the day after graduating Tufts undergrad, and as a result I had to sign up for a multi-year, part time Masters degree while working full time.  It's ok though: GE paid for it.  And now I know a lot more about lightning strikes to wind turbine blades, so that's good too.

Wear my Greenman Suit to a Sports Game
Ok it may have only been a pre-season Eagles-Patriots game, but it was the only time the Eagles came up to New England and I'll be damned if I wear the Greenman suit for a non-Philadelphia team.  Also the Eagles kicked New England's ass.

If you get heckled by a dude wearing a Greenman suit then you are doing something wrong

Hike all 48 4,000 Footers of the White Mountains
So the Presidential Traverse is actually a subset of ALL the White Mountains over 4000 feet.  Once I finished the traverse, I was like "well... I've already done 8, might as well do the other 40" and then I THREW IT ON THE LIST.  And then hiked them all.  This included my first microspike and snowshoe experiences and now I'm all the wiser for it.

Holding an ice axe makes you feel like a badass no matter what your achievement is

Climb Kilimanjaro
This is one of those bucket list items that takes a lot of careful planning, budgeting, and research.  Or in my case: blindly signing up while frustrated by a long day doing thesis.  Luckily Korin was also Down To Kilimanjaro and thus the adventure was scheduled.  Months later I realized I should get my ass in gear and maybe start training?  It was a hell of an experience: first time in Africa, first time climbing one of the 7 summits (and only... for now), the lack of oxygen, the temperature differentials, and then getting to see all the Jumbos on our post-Kili safari.  It was by far the most epic of my under-30 goals.  Here's more brazen over exaggeration: http://sevsgoeswest.blogspot.com/2013/01/tanzania-hiking-kilimanjaro.html

That is all of Africa below us

See Firefly Mating in Smokey Mountain National Park
Imagine entire forest filled with fireflies but they all synchonize their blinks and light up at the same time, and fill the forest with light to the point that it almost looks like day.  Every ten seconds.  Yeah that's a thing that happens on our planet sometimes and I got to see it.

No photos of the fireflies unfortunately because I don't know how to operate my camera in the pitch black and rain, but here's the Smokey Mountains

Go to Bonnaroo
As part of that same road trip, I went to my first multi-day music festival and it blew my freaking mind apart.  Learned some new bands, met some crazy people, and oh yeah I saw Paul McCartney live, which is bittersweet because it was incredible, but at the same time I knew that I was seeing the best possible concert that I could ever see in my entire life and nothing would ever be as good, so that was mildly sad.  But overall it was incredible and here's some proof via journal entries: http://sevsgoeswest.blogspot.com/2013/07/tennessee-road-trip-part-4-bonnaroo-at.html

"Prepare yourselves, things are about to get weird"

Paint the Tufts Cannon
Painting the cannon is a Tufts tradition where you paint it at night with whatever your design or cause is, then stay up all night defending it.  I never had a chance to do it while a student, so I did it in my final days of living in Boston before moving out to San Francisco.  It was a great experience: we used Tufts Brown and Blue to paint messages of thanks to Boston and of course, Dickcat.

DAMNIT I couldn't find a photo of Dickcat!!!

Oktoberfest in Munich
Not even a month into my new job in SF, I used the vacation time that I didn't have yet to fly over to Munich and Oktoberfest like a damn champion.  The food was amazing, the partying included plentiful cheersing, and I had more than my fair share of delicious German beer.  http://sevsgoeswest.blogspot.com/2015/01/oktoberfest-in-munich.html

The only problem here is that we only have one Stein each

Learn another Language
Ok so this one is a technicality.  I mean, where do you draw the line?  I was able to communicate effectively enough while I was in Germany and Spain my past few visits to be able to get around and get what I need to get, so I'm going to call that a win.  You can just deal with it.

Here's bullfighting from Spain because I don't have a photo of speaking a language

Backpack in the Alps
Nobody likes to see two technicalities in a row, but that's what's happening.  I didn't fully "backpack" around Europe, but I did travel through the Alps via bus/car/train during my Oktoberfest trip so I'm going to count this one too.  Ok yes it was a duffel bag but SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'M ALREADY MOVING ON TO MY NEXT ITEM.

I'm touring around the Alps, this counts

Complete an Olympic Triathlon
At first I was going to count my Sprint Tri as doing a triathlon, but no sir, I went back and finished an Olympic length in Napa.  One mile swim, 26 mile bike, 6 mile run - I was one hungry dude after this one.  And let me take this opportunity to say that open swimming with people kicking you in the face every 6 seconds is a miserable experience.

Just one of my training runs.  It was real long and I was very sweaty when I finished.  A lot of people were impressed by how big this one was.  At the end it felt great.

Surf in Hawaii
I'm not saying I was good, but I was still out there and I still surfed, however briefly it may have been.  A bunch of friends/roommates from Boston all went out to Hawaii for James and Carrie's wedding, renting a beach house on north shore Oahu.  We spent half our time slothing on the beach with Pina Coladas and half the time doing some of the most dangerous hiking I've ever done.

Nice.  We rode a single wave that day.

Run a Marathon
Graduating Tufts, after seeing quite a few Boston Marathons, I had assumed that running one myself was an impossibility.  I had never run more than a 5k in my life.  But I signed up for a few races here and there with friends, and then found myself running the Philly Half.  After finishing with some energy left, I realized that I hadn't yet found my limit.  So I signed up for the San Francisco Marathon in 2015 and finished it.  I mean, miles 22-25 were some of the most brutal moments of my life, but at mile 25 I shoveled the best tasting watermelon in my entire life into my face and finished.  And then I ate all the food in the entire Universe.

If my knee sweat is any indicator, I'm not actually this happy in real life at this point in the race

Drink around the World at Epcot
I decided to make my 30th birthday the biggest party I could imagine, so Michelle and Rick joined me in Orlando to help me achieve a very important life goal: having a different, culturally-relevant themed cocktail at each of the 11 countries in Epcot.  We started with Mooseheads in Canada, and by the time we got to England I was feeling mighty pleased about this little project.  The only detriments were to my liver and my bank account.

I'm not even sure why Epcot is open to children

Go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras
Well I can't think of a better birthday party than Mardi Gras.  The Epcot trio met up with a bigger group of amazing people in New Orleans to enjoy the music, food, parades, and 50,000 tons of beads.  It was one of the greatest experiences of my life, and watching the Sun rise over the Mississippi after staying up all night listening to music and people watching on Bourbon street was easily the best possible way to start my 30th birthday morning.  By the end of this trip, my sleep gauge was on empty but my joy gauge was maxed out.

I still don't know how we snuck up there to that balcony

There are, however, a few things on the list that I didn't get to before I turned 30.  If this were a thesis, I would put these under the section "Future Research Opportunities" because whoopsidaisy, I ran out of time.  But these can be the first items on my next bucket list:

Get a dog
Well... all the apartments that I've lived in since college have been anti-dog, so that kind of puts a damper on the whole thing.  Also my work hours are too shitty to take care of a dog.  Also I'm not responsible enough or adulty enough yet.  So I've had to make due with making lists of names for my future dog instead.  Current favorite: Dr. Spaceman.

Learn how to solo on guitar
Ok so this is one I'm actively working towards.  My new years resolution this year is to practice the guitar more, and once I get back into the rhythm of a healthy practice cycle I'm going to sign up for actual formal lessons.  You know, that thing I've never done ever.

Go to Japan
WHAT AM I, MADE OUT OF YEN?  Ha Ha do you get it, because yen is the currency there.  But seriously I haven't had a giant pile of money to send me off to Asia yet.  Plus too many other traveling opportunities came up and I'm not made out of vacation days either.

Wow that list is way shorter than I thought it would be.  Not bad.  Now on to my next decade of adventures.

Life Goals... workin on it

Back in May of 2011 I granted the world access to my "Under 30" list: http://sevsgoeswest.blogspot.com/2011/05/before-im-30.html

Basically, after I graduated Tufts undergrad, I made a list of all the stuff I wanted to accomplish before the ripe age of 30.  Whelp: today I turn 27.  Which means I have exactly 3 years to complete this list.  It seems daunting, but after looking at what I've accomplished so far, it looks like I'm on pace.  I mean, some of these things are going to require a serious shift in life priorities, but it's good to know that I'm on track.

1. Oktoberfest in Munich - I should begin preparations to research this for 2014.  Who's in?
2. Get a dog - after Kyle obtained Beckett (click here to transport to puppytimes), it became clear that my mastery over such a creature must commence shortly.
3. Skydive - COMPLETE (there was this one time when I fell out of a plane but an altruistic parachute saved me)
4. Triathlon - COMPLETE.  Well, it was a sprint triathlon, but still I'm counting it.  I might try an all-out-no-chance-of-survival triathlon sometime in the future too though.
5. Climb Kilimanjaro - COMPLETE.  I'm going to be honest here, that one was a stretch, but I pulled it off.  And my life lesson was that it sucks to breath when you're at 19,300 ft and there's no oxygen.

Climbing to the Top of Africa should be on everyone's "Under 30" list

6. Go to California - COMPLETE.  I was a kinda-resident for a few months.  You know... the title of this very blag?
7. Go to Yellowstone - COMPLETE.

It was majestic in all the right ways.  I even made a couple of bear and moose buddies.

8. Learn another language - um... well on the bright side, when I was there I was able to have VERY simple (VERY horrendous) conversations, so maybe I'm getting there?  I really need to put in some time for this one...
9. Learn how to solo on the guitar - my current tactic to "completely ignore my guitar and forget everything I once knew about it" does not seem to be paying off.  I'm going to have to switch strategies.
10. Go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras - ok, so my options are to do this either next year or the year after.  I should figure this thing out.
11. Go to Japan - WHY DID I SET SUCH LOFTY GOALS.  But no, I'm going to do this.  Just you wait.
12. Eat the Vermonster - COMPLETE.  It took a handful of ice cream warriors, but we pulled it off and kept the bucket as proof.  Side note: you will not be allowed into the Hong Kong with a giant empty bucket.  Who knew?
13. Paint the Tufts cannon - I need to just buy some paint and do this.
14. Drink around the world at Epcot - the idea is to drink one specialty drink from each of the countries in Epcot.  It sounds like a fantastic day.
15. Wear Greenman suit to a sports game - COMPLETE.  I went to a pre-season Eagles game when they came up to New England to play against the Patriots in full Greenman attire.  It was great: the Eagles destroyed them (and then proceeded to have one of the worst seasons in years).  I got a lot of strange looks, but that only fueled my pro-Eagles rage.
16. Eat the world's spiciest burger - COMPLETE (UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH I REGRET EVERYTHING).
17. Get Master's Degree - COMPLETE.  No thesis defense is complete without getting the worst migrane in the world and throwing up on your way home.
18. Backpack in the Alps - I've got a backpack and camera.  Now all I need is the money and time.
19. Brew beer - COMPLETE.  I have since brewed 7 different batches, and will be working with fellow n00b brewers on the 8th soon (RIGHT Alex???)
20. Hike the Presidentials - COMPLETE.  It took 15 hours, but we got it done in one day.  EPIC HIKE 2k11.

Some of it was inside a pingpong ball, but that's how the White Mountains operate

21. Go to Bay to Breakers - COMPLETE. Run?  No.  Dress up to the theme of Rumspringa while raging across San Fransisco?  Yes.

The weather is... perfect?  Is this really SF?

22. Hike all 48 4000 footers of the White Mountains - COMPLETE. Great way to get out and hike a bunch of different mountains (while also trying microspikes, snowshoeing, not dying in freezing cold weather, etc.).

It's Skyrim

23. Go to Smokey Mountain National Park - after reading things like "A Walk in the Woods" and "anything ever written about the Smokies: this isn't a book it's just me typing in quotes," I must visit.  They have ridiculous synchronous firefly mating.  Planning a Tennessee road trip for this June.

13/23 completed.  These next three years are going to either be epic or heartbreaking.

Epic Roadtrip Journal: 6/16/11 Yellowstone National Park

I got up alone to see sunrise this morning. Apparently normal human beings need a decent amount of this thing called "sleep." Weird. I'll sleep when I get back to Boston. Instead, I walked down to the lake (carefully avoiding the mounds of buffalo shit seemingly placed methodically enough to force me into a maze-esque adventure), and although it was overcast, there was an opening in the clouds just above the mountains to see the Sun and amazing colors. It was really pretty seeing the lake, mountains, and orange just above the mountains. I made the right choice - sleep can wait.
When I got back to the tent, everyone was content to continue sleeping, so I drove to the spot where the Grizzly lives. I saw the mother again, a bit closer this time, but still a ways off. I also saw a white and gray wolf. BOOM! Cross another animal off the list. He was pretty damn swift: just trotting, but he was going really fast. Also: definitely a lot bigger than a dog. I'd say the morning has started out pretty great.
Some of the hikes we intended to do today were closed due to too much snow or bear activity in the area. So we sent some postcards and then dropped Nads off at the lodge while the rest of us went on a hike in which the trail was actually open: Elephant Back. This proved to be highly ridiculous, because it was 100% snow and mud; at some points the snow was as deep as our knees. (THAT IS TOO MUCH SNOW FYI). Still fun, but definitely more arduous. We kept having to take layers and winter hots off and on as we worked up a sweat and then got blasted by a frigid wind. It took us a while, but we finally made it to the top (a fair amount of trailblazing was involved).

It was at least 5 miles of THIS

The view of the lake was great; we could even see the backed up cars at another area where another Grizzly was spotted. Counting the previous bear's two cubs, this brings the Grizzly count up to 6. How fucking awesome is that? THE ANSWER IS "EXTREMELY." (ps. there is speculation among the group as to whether this bear was the same as the other one at it's "usual" location. I contend that it was NOT the same bear, because we saw bears at both locations within 10 minutes of each other, and as far as I know, Grizzlies don't have the power of apparition, so I'm going with different bears.).

This bear is not in a mauling mood right now, so I got up fairly close

We then finished the hike: sliding down mounds of snow, trailblazing and sledding past switchbacks. We finally made it back to the car with about 5 lbs of snow/water in our boots. Seriously, I wrung out my socks after: it was probably 5+ gallons of water. That is a believable amount, right?
Then we picked Nads up, went back to the campsite, and built a fire to cook our lunch of hot dogs, grilled cheese, and smores. I'm not a huge fan of smores. I don't know why; on paper they seem pretty awesome. I think it might be because I'm partially OCD and hate dirt or grime on my hands, so it might be that I hate how they are the stickiest snack in the world. Weird. Anyway, we're probably going to go seek out showers and a place to wash our clothes (Colleen might literally run away if we don't wash the stink out of our clothes by the time we meet her).
And now I'm bored waiting for laundry to get done. The showers are closed for cleaning, but I am LEAPING in once we throw our stuff into the drier. We stopped at a little lake lookout briefly, beforehand. It was a great view, but we all went a little nuts when we learned that we had about 10 seconds of phone reception finally. I called my Dad, but lost reception midway through. I swear, once we get into better phone areas, I'm going to go NUTS. I've liked not having access to phones or internet, but it gets frustrating having to deal with 60-some emails when I finally DO have reception.
When we got back to camp, we organized the back of the car (it looked like 40 tornados had gone through - it was time to rearrange) and started another fire (apparently the smoldering ashes weren't good enough for a passing park ranger while we were gone, so they dumped a bucket of water into our fire pit. Some propane helped start the new fire though).

FACT: cooking over a fire is always a group effort

We used Scott's pie irons to make sandwich-pizzas and pies (they sound weird but are really good: little irons where you toast bread and filling). After a few Montana beers, I was feeling not as freezing as I should have: it is about 40 degrees. We've been playing an intense game of Spades in the meantime, where Nadkarni and I just won an incredible hand, so I'm going to get back to the tent to finish it.
Spades game update: it is now snowing outside. Nadkarni and I barely lost the game, but I successfully pulled off a blind nil. I'm calling it a win.
To finish this post, Scott and I made some scientific sketches of a Grizzly bear. This is so that when future generations find my journal, the Grizzly bear species will be documented:

Epic Roadtrip Journal: 6/15/11 Yellowstone National Park

Today started off with clear skies, so FINALLY we were able to get up and go see sunrise. We headed over to Inspiration Point on the north rim of the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone (we learned our "east vs. west" lesson finally). It was a really awe inspiring sight. The colors and the canyon getting blasted with light make for a really breathtaking combo. Sunrises are great because all the n00bs don't have the energy to get up on time to go see them (a disease that I definitively do NOT suffer from), so we were the only people there. (I hate when people ruin my sunrise with their presence. THAT IS A MOMENT BETWIXT ME AND THE SUN, STEP OFF). Oh also, sunrises are just fucking beautiful.

Your argument is invalid

We then saw some more of the dawn rays hitting the canyon from Artist's Point on the south rim - still fucking amazing, as per usual. (This happened after we followed a lone bison cross the bridge from the north to the south rim. MY GOD THEY HAVE BIG FUCKING HEADS). I managed to stand out on some precarious ledges (standard), so that was fun. Not having a fear of heights is pretty great.

Even the slightest breeze would have knocked me off this cliff

Then we went back to our tundra-esque snowy campsite, broke down the wet tent, and bid that god-forsaken place fucking adieu.
On our way to our next location, we probably saw a bunch more animals, including about a billion buffalo. It's getting hard remembering how many we see at this point because there are so many. We did see a vast number of buffalo today: crossing the road, walking around some hot springs, taking dumps near our car - the usual. We definitely saw a crapload of baby bison, including one running to it's parents. So adorbs. I walked up to a few today. Dangerously close: probably. Dangerously awesome: definitely.
We did a small hike early on in the day near the Roosevelt Tower area. It was a bit more intense than the other hikes we've done. I feel bad that Nadkarni keeps sitting out at the lodges while we hike, but she's more than willing, so I guess it's ok. We passed by a really cool lake, a petrified tree, and a group of elk. I then took a piss with a grand mountainous view, and finished our hike as the weather persisted to stay perfect.
We then drove to Bridge Bay campground: our new home for the next two nights. The check-in was INFINITELY easier this time around: competent employees, no snow on the ground, an actual fire pit and place to set up our tent. AND a great view of Yellowstone Lake. It is, however, intensely windy. When we arrived back at our site later in the day, the tent was completely blown upside-down. Tents all over the campground were blown from hell and back - it was really funny.

The wind got a little crazy

After setting up the tent at our better, but windier campsite (seriously, we had to put boulders ontop of all the stakes so they wouldn't get ripped out of the ground), we headed up to see Mud Volcano: yet another location that makes you think you should be hanging out with dinosaurs. The entire place smelled like horrible, acrid sulfur. My clothes are going to smell like pure awful: sulfur, campfire smoke, B.O., and pine trees, by the end of this trip. But there were some really cool things: a place called "Dragon's Cave" - a cave with "smoke" pouring out and the sound of dragon breathing. I know it was steam and bubbling water inside a cave, but shit, I was like 40% sure there was an actual dragon in there. There was also a really cool bubbling mud area, the Mud Volcano, and some super sulfur-y stuff (smelled like absolute ass), and a lone buffalo walking through all of it.
At some point (we did so much that I've already mixed up the order of things we did) we had a leisurely lunch at the Lake Lodge. It was good to calm things down a bit and enjoy a decent meal. Bagels and hummus, PB+J on shitty bread, and granola bars were starting to get on my friggn nerves.
We then took a short, easy hike that Nads could join in on by the lake at Storm Point. There wasn't any elevation change, but it was a really great hike regardless because we passed through several different environments. We were by the lake, so a portion of it was a windy, sandy beach area. Then a bit of prairie, into a dry forest, then finished with a super-dense wet forest. It was beautiful will trillions of tall, thin evergreens everywhere except on the trail. However, we had to balance on fallen logs to avoid the muddy, sometimes water-filled trail (Alex's nightmare - he has NO balance).
The rest of the day, until now, we kind of took it easy. We re-supplied some of our food (let's be real - just the snacks). OH SHIT! Then we saw an enormous Grizzly bear at the side of the road. It kept crouching and digging things out of the ground (potentially Pikachus?). It was epic: it was a huge fucking bear. We stayed by the side of the road, where tons of other people gathered to watch. Throughout the rest of the evening, whenever we drove by the area, there were a lot of people stopped at the side of the road - the bear hung out in the area for a while, but stayed in the trees at that point. Total bear count for the trip so far: 3 Grizzlies and 7 black bears.

Grizzly bears are terrifyingly huge. When I fight one, I'm going to need ALL the adrenaline.

After the Grizzly bear escapade we spent some quality time at our campsite until now: fixing our overblown tent, cooking some burgers and grilled vegetables over a campfire, and laying out our clothes to dry/de-smell-ify them, etc. Our plan now is to head to the east side of the lake to see the Sun set over the western side. Then we might go for a moonlit stroll around the Steamboat Point area. It is going to be a full moon tonight, so we'll have plenty of light for a short hike. Hopefully the sky won't be overcast for ONCE and we can see some stars.
Aaaand I just sllipped in a big pile of mud. Awesome. Now all my warm clothing is sopping wet and dirty. Hopefully the Sun will be up long enough to start drying everything out (in retrospect: IT WASN'T). And I got a huge gash on my hand. So that's cool. This sunset better be FUCKING AMAZING. (Alex started laughing when he saw me fall, which was right of him to do, because I'm sure it looked hilarious. He later felt bad after he saw blood dripping from my hand. HA HA! I win due to the fact that Alex has a conscience!)
Ok, it was fucking amazing, crisis averted. We first drove by the lakeside where waves of SNOW were crashing against the beach, shooting ice pellets up onto the road. It was amazing. Then we got to Steamboat Point, which had a few thermal vents and an incredible view of the western mountains.

The superman pose is unstoppable

It was a bit cloudy, but we ended up seeing some spectacular colors as the Sun set. I was pretty blown away, and that is hard to pull off.

I don't know physics well enough to explain what's happening here. Actually I do, but I'm not going to.

On the way back, we passed the Grizzly Bear's roadside "territory" again; it turns out it is a mother with TWO CUBS. We could only see them from far away, but it is clear that they are insanely cute. I plan on being cautious when in that area from now on... pissing off a mother Grizzly might not be a great idea. jk I'm going to go in there with guns blazing.

Epic Roadtrip Journal: 6/14/11 Yellowstone National Park

The day started fairly cloudy, so I opted to continue sleeping rather than try for sunrise. We woke up and had a quick breakfast (everything we owned was still sopping wet, so we just dealt with it), and started our day of adventures at about 8am. (We pack so much into each day that at this point in the trip it is just starting to be a grind writing in the journal. I was just jotting down what happened just to have it written down so I could go to sleep sooner. WHAT A BABY.)
We drove around towards Prismatic Spring (for the life of me I can never remember that fucking name), stopping at a bunch of places along the way. A lot of geothermal sites, including a few with hot, bubbling mud. I felt like I was in some prehistoric time, and there probably should be dinosaurs walking around all over the place. It was odd that there weren't, so I learned to be happy with just the bubbling mud. Oh, it was the Artist Paintpot area. I'm good at remembering things. We then went to the Fountain Paintpot, where Nadkarni decided to throw litter into the scalding, growing bacteria that form the beautiful red colorful terraces (she accidentally dropped her trail map, but that didn't stop me from giving her shit for it). The geysers, bubbling mud pits, and fumaroles were awesome. One was called Spastic or Spazzing Geyser, I don't know the actual name, but I know that it was apt as SHIT because the geyser was spritzing out water in crazy directions.
We then made it to the Prismatic Spring area. It is a huge, intensely colored pool that Yellowstone is well known for. Seeing it on it's horizontal axis is interesting, because there is a lot of steam coming off (into us, so pictures were basically impossible), and the steam is colored the blue and orange of the actual spring.
After a quick PB+J AND buffalo jerky lunch, Alex, Scott and I started our nearby hike to Fairy Falls. We saw a lone buffalo close by right at the trail head, which I promptly threatened and warned that I was eating it's brethren in jerky form. The hike was really nice: perfect weather through a forest of young, super-green trees (that's a color, right?). The falls were great: about a 200 foot fall where I proceeded to climb up to the base and dance around in the mist. Refreshing AND dangerous - perfect combination.

I'm not sure who invented waterfalls, but you, sir, are a genius

We hiked back and up a hill to get a higher elevation view of the Prismatic Spring. Without exaggeration, it was in the top 5 most beautiful views I've ever experienced. The colors were so vivid and amazing. I had a hard time believing it wasn't a photoshopped poster someone had put in front of me. The bright blue and orange were beyond words... so I'll stop now.

The photos look like absolute shit compared to the real thing. It was mind-blowingly amazing.

We then drove around the southern side of the park toward Yellowstone Lake. There, we stopped at some lookouts we hadn't seen before and basically rocked out to some music and a picturesque drive (but seriously, those two CDs were starting to get pretty old).
Alex, Scott and I took a short hike near the "Lake Thumb" - it was an insane view of the lake and surrounding mountains. We also trudged through snow to see a couple elks REALLY close up. About 15 feet away. They are enormous. I don't understand how these animals are not afraid of us. I mean, I could literally walk up to it, pull a gun out, and shoot it's face off. These things have some serious balls.

"Holy crap he just looked at me!"

But we left the immense valley to continue our drive back to camp, along the gorgeous lake. We saw a HUGE Grizzly bear on the other side of the Yellowstone River. It was immense. I saw it swim partway across the river to an island, hoping against hope that it would come at me and we'd be able to battle, but alas, not this time.
We just finished a foil dinner - ground beef, carrots, and potatoes in foil pouches on a fire. Pretty damn good. I'm amazed I was able to get the fire going with wet wood right next to the snow bank though.
We just got back from our excursion from the Grand Canyon, just near our campground. We saw a bit of sunset at Artist's Point on the south rim (after a fiasco of trying to see it from the north rim, but facing the wrong way). Without fog, the canyon is JUST LOVELY. We saw the sky and clouds change to purple, orange, and red colors as the full moon came up. It was a pretty great evening.
Some notes about Yellowstone in general: unlike other hikes or parks, like hiking near Boston, Yellowstone isn't a monotonous hike with interspersed "holy crap this is an amazing view" locations. Yellowstone, every single moment of it, is "fuuuuuuuuuck this is beautiful and green and amazing and gorgeous and pretty and gorgeous again! I need to look up more synonyms for gorgeous!" Everything, every moment driving, every step while hiking, is just amazing. The smell of the trees, the views, the animals, they all make me think I need to reevaluate my life because the best I have to compare is a grey, overcast drive to shitty Lynn, MA for work every morning. I WANT GRIZZLY BEARS IN MY OFFICE.
Also, we've been doing thorns and roses for each day, and Alex and I had an epiphany together when we decided our overarching "thorn" for the canyon campsite would be "fucking freezing water in the sink." Seriously. The thing I dread the most each day is washing my hands in frigid ice-water.
Due to the fact that I am terrible at remembering things, I just thought of this. Earlier, while driving, we saw a coyote just hanging out in a field. He was waiting above a Pikachu hole (small rodent called a Pika, so I just took the next step in naming it Pikachu). Maybe he got one?

This guy is SO INTENSE

Also, whenever Alex yawns, we all lose "the game." It is terrible. He just learned about The Game, and now we all have associated yawning with The Game. Shit.

Epic Roadtrip Journal: 6/13/11 Yellowstone National Park

We slept amidst enormous snowbanks, on pavement, in 32 degree weather. HEROIC.
Scott and I got up around 5am to see the sunrise, but to no avail. The clouds thwarted our plans yet again. But we drove around all the views of the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. Fog blocked most of the good views, and when I say fog, I of course mean clouds, because we are over 8000 feet up. Still great views, and we'll be back when it's nicer out.
We hung out at Inspiration Point, Artist's Point, and then saw an amazing angle of the Lower Falls - it was insane. I ran out onto some dangerous ledges to see some amazing higher-up views, as I am wont to do. It was a great way to start the day.

What is wrong with me?

Now, almost as if my life were a comedy, I'm sitting at our picnic table, COMPLETELY surrounded by snow, eating a bagel dipped in cream cheese (fuck knives) and fruit snacks, writing in this journal. We stuck some beer in the snow wall for later tonight.
And now I just climbed on top of the 4 foot wall of snow to go pee. And knock over a dead tree. It was difficult to push it over in the snow, but I managed. I'm basically a lumberjack, but my only tools are my BARE HANDS.
Some thoughts I have of Yellowstone so far: everything smells like rotten eggs. There are so many sulfur-spewing geothermal areas that the sulfur just gets everywhere. I don't think I'll be eating eggs for a while (and I HAVEN'T yet). Another thing is that there are awesome wild animals all over the place. Bison, bears, elk, marmots. They are just ALL OVER. It is really cool. Also, there is only ONE radio station. And it's fairly shitty. The radio just seeks all the way back around to the one station. They had a "rasta-hour" or something. It sucked. So we've been sticking with the 2 CDs that I brought: it's getting... tiring. Lastly, the water at our campsite's bathroom is so cold that you need to dry your hands in the middle of washing them just to prevent them from going numb.
Anyway, after breakfast we went to the Tower Falls area. We saw our first black bear, up a hill, somewhat far away. It was really cool to watch though. We checked out the falls, which were impressive, but I liked Lower Falls better. We then took off most of our warm clothes, because the weather became really nice. This included stripping down to my boxers in a crowded parking lot and not giving a SHIT.
On our way to our next destination, Mammoth Hot Springs, we drove by two black bears, one of which was super close to the road. I managed to get up really close for pictures; at one point it walked up to me, eating grass, about 15 feet away. I opted not to fight it, because it wasn't very big, so I'll wait for a Grizzly. Also, it was adorbs.

Holy crap he's LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. Please don't eat me.

At Mammoth, we saw quite a few thermal hot springs which created really colorful pools with insane bacteria that can apparently survive in temperatures that would scald my face off. They were really cool looking - we basically walked along the boardwalk directly above one-billion degree water (slight exaggeration). I was particularly fond of Canary Spring ("particularly fold of?" What am I, 70?), because it looked like what I imagine bears fighting each other would look like: pure awesome.

Hot Springs are one to two trillion degrees. Give or take.

Holy shit, I completely forgot driving to Cascade Falls! We did so freaking much today! It was another waterfall, it was cool,we saw a bald eagle: pretty standard.
Anyway, after Mammoth Hot Springs, where we saw a giant rock that looked like a dick, and a huge growing rock formation that looked like Jumbo, Scott and I went for a short hike near Mammoth. We heard there was a fresh carcass there, so we were hoping to see some more bears (because 3 isn't enough?). I literally was hiking with my drawn pocket knife. Unfortunately, no bears, but we managed to see some spectacular views, a dead elk carcass, a cool river/walking bridge, and another bald eagle. We got really close to this one; it flew directly over our heads. I tried to chase it up to the branch it was perched on, but oh wait, they can fly, so it left.
Skipping ahead, it started to rain pretty hard when we were at Norris Geyser Basin, so we had to cut that part short a bit. I swear, I had to change my hot weather/cold weather/rainy clothes more times today than I usually have to in a month. We were too discouraged to try to build a fire in the rain, so we bought some quick food at the general store near our campsite and ate in the car. We also had the beer we had stored in the snow at our site.

Scott and I are STOKED! jk we're not that stoked because it is pouring out.

I continued to drink delicious beer in the HOT SHOWER that I took. Scott and I managed to cheers our shower beers above the barrier to our showers. The shower itself was stupendous. I should start bathing less so that I get that amazing feeling more often. For only $3.25, my soul was rejuvenated and my bones were warmed. AND my growing B.O./sulfur smell was eliminated (keepin it classy). We then finished the night with a long game of hearts (I don't want to talk about the outcome) in the tent, hiding from the rain. And now I'm pooped, so I shall sleep.

Epic Roadtrip Journal: 6/12/11 Grand Tetons/Yellowstone National Parks

Writing from Grand Tetons:
It rained all night, and it is still drizzling now, and my fingers are numb writing this, but who gives a fuck; I'm in one of the most beautiful places in the world (sweet attitude brah!). No stargazing, sunset, or sunrise due to cloud cover, but it honestly doesn't matter. I passed out right when I got in the tent last night. I barely made it into my sleeping bag.
This morning, I got up before everyone else and walked down to the lake (Jenny Lake, where we camped at). It was preposterously amazing, even with clouds covering the mountains. Shit's getting tranquil up in here. Then I saw another moose. Holy shit. I was, I kid you not, about 10 feet away from it. No exaggeration. I took some amazing pictures (including one of myself on a timer), stalked it a bit, and then went to have a bagel-y breakfast.

Am I doing it right?

Writing from Yellowstone:
After breakfast, Scott, Alex, and I went for a short hike around String Lake toward Paintbrush Canyon. It was a really pleasant hike made better by the fact that we didn't see another person the entire time. The mountains were covered by clouds, but the awesome pine trees and snow covered mountain slopes were still gorgeous. Stomping through virgin snow in the middle of June is probably one of the top things you can do in life. We got to a mini hill, where Scott suggested we trail blaze up the hillside. Alex then had the incredible idea to sled down on our asses. It was I who recommended we do it again. It was a blast, even if our asses got soaking wet. Then we ran/slid down the snowy slopes and made it back to camp pretty quickly.

Soaking wet pants are TOTALLY worth it

After breaking down the tent, we drove to the Colter Bay area for a quick, easy little hike by Jackson Lake. It was a nice way to say our goodbyes to the Grand Tetons. We then drove along the Rockefeller Parkway into Yellowstone. There was a crapload of snow and everything was beautiful. Yep, that's how I'd sum up the entire park so far. We crossed the Continental Divide (where water flow changes direction from one side of the continent to the other) like 3 times and drove the zig-zag mountainous road through a lot of the southern portion of the park. I probably had about 10 mini freakout sessions due to everything being so epic.
Our first main stop was Old Faithful, which is a geyser (no shit) that goes off every 90-130 minutes or something. Whatever, I'm not a stopwatch. Our timing was incredibly fortuitous, because it blew it's load RIGHT AS WE ARRIVED. Perfect timing. It was a really fantastic sight to behold: boiling water launched up about 130 feet. We then took a long walk around a lot of the other geysers, hot springs, and other geothermal sites. Oh wait, that's the ENTIRE PARK. Everywhere you drive there is sulfur-y, acrid, smelly steam coming off the ground, or some thermal vent or hot spring. It is unbelievable. Anyway, we saw about 20 geysers, including Beehive Geyser, which is WAY better than Old Faithful. The blast is actually taller and you can stand way closer. The nozzle is also smaller, so the water rockets out of the opening like it's on crack or something (I'm pretty sure that's not possible). It only goes off once or twice in a day, so we were super lucky to be there. Granted, my warm weather clothes got soaking wet with boiling sulfur-water (I took them off when it got warmer out, and when the geyser went off, it shifted directions and sprayed Nads, Scott, and Alex, who forgot that my shirts were right next to them in their insane panic to get away from the steam), but hopefully they will dry by tomorrow morning... (spoiler alert: they didn't.)

We also saw 6 or 7 buffalo RIGHT NEXT TO the walkway, so close that I could literally touch them if I wanted, and they didn't give a shit about ANYTHING. There were 3 tiny baby bison with them, and they were adorbs.
Scott and I ran to a lookout (literally ran) that overlooked the entire geothermal area, which was a really interesting perspective. We came down, saw a few more geysers (oh, at this point I'm apparently underwhelmed by the FANTASTIC MAJESTY THAT IS A GEOTHERMAL EVENT), saw Old Faithful go off again,and then saw the CUTEST black and brown puppy that I have ever seen in my entire life. Without superlative, that puppy was the best. So yeah - saw Old Faithful go off 3 times from different angles, saw a buffalo family, saw a shitload of geysers, saw the cutest puppy in the history of the Universe: great stop at Old Faithful Village.
We then drove to Canyon Village, where we are currently camping. We stopped at a few notable views, were amazed by the green awesome trees (LOOK AT ALL THE GWEEEEEN), and rocked out to Queen whilst driving some fun roads. But the best was having a HERD of buffalo cross the street all around our car. There were probably 60-70 bison. They stopped traffic for about 45 minutes, but it was absolutely worth it. I got great pictures and it was a quintessential Yellowstone adventure. Some of them were fucking enormous. I think my adrenaline was going nonstop (however, my adrenaline going nonstop is not an abnormal event).

We kept yelling at the buffalo from the car: "CROSS IN FRONT OF US, WE WANT TO LOOK AT YOU."

We then had to deal with some incompetent, over 60-year-old campground people at our campsite, but after an hour-long fiasco of changing our snow-covered site to a site where we could AT LEAST set up our tent on the pavement next to the road (there was also an unnecessary amount of highlighting on our site map by the campground guy who didn't know how to use a computer). (WOW. I really toned down the intense frustration here. Dealing with those people was seriously the worst. In fact, I literally just filled out a survey for customer satisfaction. I gave them the worst possible score in every category. WE COULDN'T EVEN FIND OUR FIREPIT in the 3 feet of snow that covered our campsite). It is a shitty location, but at least our tent isn't DIRECTLY on snow. There is seriously about 2-3 feet of snow everywhere; I think it might be a cold stay...

One benefit to having a wall of snow around our picnic table is that we have a place to keep the beer cold

We had noms at the Canyon Village Lodge, where I had some Wyoming beer and Bison ravioli. Pretty damn good. Now I'm lying on pavement in our tent, freezing cold, starting to smell, and super tired and dirty - it was a great day.
Some notable moments were when Nadkarns coined the term "Hagstag," a clever play on the twatter phrase hashtag. I rofl'd. Another is when we had just left our snow covered campsite for dinner. We had just finished eating and Alex goes "should we buy some more ice?" (Nadkarns needs ice for cooling her newly healing knee). I simply responded "shut up," assuming he was being a jackass talking about how COMPLETELY COVERED our campsite is with snow. He apparently had forgotten. I hadn't.

Going out west tomorrow. BRB.

In less than 24 hours I will literally be on a flying machine hurtling in the air at 500 mph towards Salt Lake City. I am so amped right now.  In less than one week I will be fighting a Grizzly Bear.

It is fairly difficult to focus at work today because I'm super pumped and my stomach is all rumbly like it's made out of tectonic plates and dild-... vibra-... shake weights. Instead of focusing on things like turbine temperatures, like I'm supposed to, all I can concentrate on is calculating the amount of pepto bismal I should take right now so that I don't unleash semi-digested liquid fortune cookies (read: my breakfast) all over my keyboard and monitor. I'm thinking it's somewhere around a quarter of a bottle.

Getting UNCOMFORTABLY PUMPED for this Northwest Road Trip...

An elite crew of adventurers are joining me for what will be known as "the greatest road trip ever achieved in the history of the Universe." Senator Nadkarns, X Mandeville, Scottholomew Hagerty, Colleen of the Kling Faction, and potentially Madam Surbhington the Third (more prodding is in order to nag her to accept) are joining me on my brainchild road trip that has been in the works for about a year and a half. And I'm getting way, way too pumped.

We're flying out to Salt Lake City on June 10, where we'll rent a car (kickass Ford Escape. FUCK YOU gas economy, we need leg room!). Over the course of 12 days we'll travel to the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, Craters of the Moon, Portland, Mt. Saint Helens, Mt. Rainier, Olympic National Park, and flying back from Seattle. I know what you're thinking: "But Chris, that is WAY too much awesomeness for any mortal." Well, you are correct. But we are not mortals. We are fucking adventuretimes champions. The kind of champions that save you from all the zombie-raptors when you dream at night. The kind of champions that walk up to Cancer, kick him in the balls, and then send in a faulty version of his taxes so that the IRS audits the shit out of him. This is our plan:

Click on this map. If you dare.

In between boring things like sleeping, pretending to do work, and eating ALL the food, I spend most of my time getting physically pumped up for this trip. Like, I'll stomp around the apartment doing roundhouse kicks in the air and spitting ALL over the place. This one time I was making dinner, and I swear to god I punched my stir fry in the face. Or, where I'd imagine the face would be if stir fry had one.

In fact, just today, Scott and I spent the better part of ten minutes trying to come up with a name for the road trip such that the acronym would spell out something badass. We're tabling it for now, but what we have so far is TEARTITKU - The Epicest Adventuretimes Road Trip In The Known Universe. It has TEAR (that's what bears do!) and TIT (nice), so you know it has to be good.

So anyway, since this interblag was originally intended to capture the beautiful essence of America's greatest pastime - the road trip - I figured I might as well stay somewhat true to my roots and write some road trip bloggy kind of stuff. If you don't like it, then don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.