Before I'm 30

I've mentioned this or have shown this to a few people, but apparently having a list of things to do before you're 30 isn't all that normal? I don't see why. I have life goals, and the most opportune time to do most of them (due to being physically capable, having the time and energy, or just because of the terrifying idea that I might not be as insane as I am now) is before my 30th birthday. Plus, that is going to be a super depressing day, and I want to be able to look back at my life and be like "oh right, I forgot how awesome I am. Carry on." I encourage you to make your own, because it feels great crossing off these huge life achievements when you complete them. Like, better than that feeling you get when you push the "other" button down on a McDonald's soda lid. I came up with most of them the day after I graduated undergrad (literally the next day), but some I added when I heard of something so awesome that made me go "holy shit. I must conquer that. IT'S GOING ON THE LIST." So here is my list:

1. Oktoberfest in Munich - this needs to happen.
2. Get a dog - I'm going to name him Khan, so that whenever I call his name I scream "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN" SEE WHAT I DID THERE? roflroflroflrofl lolersk8s roflcopter
3. Skydive - COMPLETE (This is the epic coming-of-age narrative in which I punched the face of god and then jumped out of a moving aircraft)
4. Triathlon - potentially signing up for baby's first triathlon this summer? CALM DOWN it's just a sprint, not a full "all my bodily functions are failing me and I'm definitely going to have 17 heart attacks" all-out crazy triathlon. But still. w00t?
5. Climb Kilimanjaro - should probably start researching what that is going to require...
6. Go to California - COMPLETE (I kinda lived there for 4 months? And I kinda created this blogosphere to chitchat about it? The blag is literally named "Goin' to California." To my faithful readers in China: I know you probably didn't realize this, but yes, I completed that life objective.
7. Go to Yellowstone - I'm doing this in 3 weeks! (You'll probably see some journal entries in the future, or if you are a time traveler from the future, you already know this, but I'm going on a road trip from Salt Lake City to Seattle with some grade A chums).
8. Learn another language - FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- I need to get on that...
9. Learn how to solo on the guitar - COME ON. When am I going to have time to "become proficient at skills I don't yet have?" Ugh.
10. Go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras - that seems pretty fantastic.
11. Go to Japan - seems simple enough. I think I need to start designing some pyramid schemes to build up enough capital to achieve some of these goals.
12. Eat the Vermonster - some of the D. Haus crew and I came up with that around sophomore year, but it never came to fruition. I need to build up a team to take down this mountain of ice cream THIS SUMMER.
13. Paint the Tufts cannon - I've actually never done this, how is THAT possible? But whatevs, it's happening this summer.
14. Drink around the world at Epcot - I heard about this through Jimmy (who actually did it on his honeymoon), and it sounds phenomenal. The idea is that at every "country" in Epcot, you get that country's signature drink. Apparently, it culminates to a tram ride back to the hotel in which you scream "I love you, dude!" in front of 20 children. SIGN ME UP.
15. Wear Greenman suit to a sports game - SO PUMPED TO DO THIS. The Phillies just need to get up to Boston and I need to get tickets so I can pull this off. Because I am NOT rooting for a non-Philadelphia team in the Greenman suit. That's sacrilege.
16. Eat the world's spiciest burger - COMPLETE (UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH enjoy this link to the WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY SWEET YOUNG LIFE).
17. Get Master's Degree - FUN. I'm working on it I'm working on it.
18. Backpack in the Alps - I'm actually worried it will be too gorgeous.
19. Brew beer - I'm hoping to make a batch for the fall. And I want it to taste like FRIGGN PUMPKINS.

Not really a "before I'm 30" goal, but DEFINITELY a life goal: I recently ate so many cupcakes that I literally vomited. It was awesome. There was one with bacon brittle on it and pieces of actual bacon in the cupcake! WELCOME TO AWESOMETOWN, POPULATION: ME.