Dec. 6, 2009
Joshua Tree National Park
(it may look like it, but this actually is NOT a Dr. Seuss book)
Our last free weekend in California, four days before we had to pack up and drive on back to Boston, Hogan and I visited Death Valley and Joshua Tree National Parks. Our "hey it's California. Who cares if it's December, it will still be warm" mentality was DEFINITELY erroneous when it comes to the desert. If I hadn't thought to bring a winter hat, gloves, and a sweatshirt (read: the only warm clothing I had brought with me to California), I would SURELY have been an unhappy camper. Literally.
The drive from Death Valley to Joshua Tree took longer than I thought, but it was lined with tons of wind farms, so I was fairly content. The downside to the drive was that it was mostly a two-lane highway, and I'm not sure what it is about California, but truck drivers in that state are HORRENDOUS ASSHOLES. Every so often, one truck will pass another truck, going ONE MILE PER HOUR faster than the first truck. This means that both lanes are blocked for about twenty minutes, because that passing driver will be DAMNED if he tries to pass at a speed other than "ludicrously slow."
Arriving at Joshua Tree, the first thing we noticed was that the entire park came out of a Dr. Seuss book.
I'm pretty sure these are called Frumpula Wumpus Trees
We spent some time in the little cactus garden, just amazed at how these things ever came to be. Also taking pictures in which we pretended to crap out cacti. But I'll spare you.
Don't worry, I made sure to test that the spines were painful. They were.
We started driving to our campsite, because the Sun was already starting to set. I almost hit a quail and a coyote in the process. Whoopsidaisy. But the sunset was awesome. Something about the crazy desert rocks and the INSANE DR. SEUSS JOSHUA TREES made it that much more intense. Also, the sky was ridiculously purple.
Joshua Trees are crazy
I didn't realize sunsets could have these kinds of colors. So I... learned something today.
We didn't feel like cooking in the freezing cold, so we drove into town and got KFC. I hadn't eaten KFC for probably 15 years. I forgot what an amazing experience it is! The fried, greasy chicken and the delicious mashed potatoes hit the SPOT. For the first 5 minutes. Then you feel like a bloated stroke victim waiting for death. Then comes the diarrhea. Now I remember why I don't eat KFC.
Then we drove to our campsite. It was a little plot of desert with a huge rock making a wall at the end. It seriously looked like it was straight out of an old western movie about a cattle drive or something. So quintessential southwest. What I hadn't planned on was the wind. It was nuts. I couldn't even set my tent up. So we both crammed into Hogan's little tent and gave up on mine.
We woke up to go up to one of the cliffs in order to see sunrise. It was FREEZING.
Seriously. Get the fuck up. It's so fucking cold.
All of a sudden there was an enormous valley below us that we didn't realize was there. Thanks sunlight!
Oh is it the beginning of December? Yeah I went camping and saw this amazing sunrise. That's a normal December, right?
While we were warming up, we went on a short hike through some of the park. Nothing crazy, but we walked through a forest of crazy looking Joshua Trees, saw some petroglyphs, saw some quail. It was fairly relaxing.
Long pants?! While hiking?! THIS IS MADNESS.
We did this thing where we would imitate all the wacky shapes that the Joshua Trees made. And weird looking rocks. We're... special.
Har har har har
And that concludes our California adventures. We drove back to Hanford, where my car hit 10,000 miles. I had only owned it for 5 months. I bought it new. Ugh. And four days later I drove it across the country yet again...
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Yes, this is indeed a picture of me in a monkey suit doing pull-ups while being fed beer out of a growler
